The other night my boys and I were having a father against sons tickle wrestling on the bed. We were having tons of fun, lots of laughter, not the best activity right before bed, but being the opportunist that I am, I took what I could get. Now I'm sure you seasoned parents, mainly you mothers are already thinking it's late, it's the end of the day, children tend to change mood on a dime when they are tired. Dads, we have all heard "It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt." Well I'm armpit checking my middle son, age 8, and he is finally able to get out the words "Stop it." In our house this is a direct shut off switch, my wife and I are very strict with the concept of stopping immediately when you are asked. So as I was taking my fingers out of his armpits he punches me three times in rapid succession in the face. Now this was a surprise, this child is often the one who will go toe to toe with anyone and sometimes really presses the boundaries with his mother and father, but punching a parent in the face is almost a capital offense. So yes folks here is the great opportunity to slow down and get to the real reasons why he hit me. In reality, although his punches were stunning, he is only eight years old and I am a grown man so the need to defend myself or seek immediate medical attention was taken off the table right away. We could discuss the other possible choices he might have made, discuss how this choice was wrong because it was a reaction and not a thought out choice...ect. Yes you guessed it, I instead grabbed and brought him to my face and yelled in his face, "Don't you ever #$@^^ing hit me in the face again!!!!" and I stormed out of the room. At this point my wife has heard the laughter cease and the crying begin. I, the educated and licensed dad/husband then proceeded to tell my wife to "ask him what happened" as I sulked in another room. He being the eight year old boy through himself on the floor and refused to talk, and pretended that if he was under the blanket on the floor no one could see him. Now the other boys in the room, they were picking up the toys, straightening out their dressers, asking if they can do anything to be helpful, or if they should just get into bed. It always amazes me when one gets in trouble or a serious event like this occurs, the others instantly become the wonderful, helpful, considerate children you dream of having.
Well a few minutes go by and I stand in the room as my wife sings the nightly bedtime prayer and I say nothing when she ends and everyone says good night to their mother, not me. To prove that I do have a heart, and some credentials, I start to feel something was wrong with what just happened, but I was not yet convinced that it was my fault. So I talk about it with my wife and she says you know how he can be, he is explosive like that with his brothers sometimes. You also know it is late and he has had a long day. Then she asks me what happened. I tell her and she says he must have thought you didn't stop, and you were not respectful of his request for him to stop. I then filled a little more in and said, "I might have swore at him." My wife has a furrowed brow now, "What do you mean you might have swore at him?" "I might have said Dont' you ever @#$&ing hit me in the face again." "Oh" she says, "That's probably why he was so upset and you probably scared him, you too need to have a talk before he falls asleep." "Well he is probably already asleep." "Well then go wake him up and talk with him."
I go into his room and ask him to come out to the living room. Well this now means the youngest all of the sudden has to go pee, and then a few minutes later the oldest comes out and wants to know why the middle one gets to get out of bed. After the other two are back in bed, we talk about what happened. He thought I was still tickling him after he said "stop it" and accepted that he made the mistake and assumed that my movement to get my fingers out of his arm pit was me still tickling him. I then told him that I was sorry for swearing at him, and most of all that word, and that a father should not address that word towards his son. Notice I said "towards his son", I have to hope that it is not as bad to say it in the presence of your son because I really need his help when I am working on the car, which is where I believe I learned all the swear words and the grammatical formula to create new ones while I was growing up. So anywho, he responds with "it's OK dad I just hope my little brother doesn't repeat it." We hugged and then he went back to bed. A few moments later the oldest brother comes barreling out of his room screaming "He got chocolate and watched a movie?"
